The world didn’t stop. This terrible thing happened and I had to keep on doing life. I still have to. But this is why I’m sharing my story, because I want you to know that you are not alone in this. I want you to know that no matter when you experience this loss it fucking hurts, and it will continue to hurt, and from what other women have told me it always will, but it does ease.

It came in waves. The logical side of my brain would take over and then the emotional side would just spill out. It was like my mind was trying to make sense and rationalize what was happening, but at the same time it was also trying to deal with the realization of what would never be.

Before you read on I want to let you know that my story is about early pregnancy loss. I will go into detail with things that I experienced, felt and saw. This may not be may not be comfortable for you. I don’t do this to be shocking, I am doing this because I don’t want to forget. Even though it was early, this pregnancy was real and this baby was wanted. I want all the other mothers who have experienced loss to know that no matter when you see that positive test, any and all of your feelings surrounding your pregnancy is valid. I want others to know what might happen and what your loved one might be going through. Of course every person’s experience is different, but because I serve the community that I do, I find that it is important to offer some perspective and by doing this support.